Quick post today:
We celebrated my son Isaac's birthday yesterday! He turned 8. When did he all of a sudden get . . . big?
The greatest thing about today was that I made the time to hang out with him. One on one. Father and son.
I've noticed something that's changed about our relationship over the past little while, and recently I ran across some information that I think sheds a little light on it. You see, being the oldest child, I believe my wife and I placed some unreal expectations on the guy, and it showed up in a lot of subtle ways. Yeah, he's smart, yeah, he's talented. But he's still a kid and has a lot of growing up to do. And yet . . .
So what's created the change in our relationship? I have to say that the biggest change hasn't been in him, it's been in me. And as such, our relationship is improved. Do we still argue? Yeah. Does he still get in trouble? Yeah. But has it ever been any clearer that we love each other? I don't think so.
An oft-used Ghandi quote reads something like "be the change you want to see in the world." Well, I must say that it's a true principle, because I can see it happening right in front of my eyes. No, Isaac wasn't a bad kid before. But there were behaviors that bothered me.
Now, though, instead of focusing on his poor behavior, I look inside to see how I might be creating that behavior, and boy is the reality sobering sometimes!
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
The Power of Thought
How powerful is thought?
I've asked many people the following question as a means of introducing my coaching service: "What do you believe about the power of thought over your success?"
Without fail (small sample size, yes, but anecdotal evidence is admittable sometimes, right?), everyone I've asked has said something along the lines of "Oh, yeah, thought is where it all begins, thoughts are powerful," etc.
So my question is, if the answer is so obvious, so what? What are we doing about it? If my thoughts are that powerful in terms of creating my success or failure, why am I not choosing to become the master of my internal dialogue and unleash the greatness inside?
Heh heh, what's my gut response?
Because I think too much.
Funny ain't it, how obvious it seems to be to many people, and yet even in the act of admitting that thoughts have a lot of power over our reality, we are still letting our thoughts dictate what effect those words have on our reality.
And the culprits aren't usually the initial thought, the initial "yes I agree" thought, but the secondary and tertiary thoughts, the ones that say stuff like "Yeah, but . . . it doesn't work for me," or "It's not quite as simple as that is it?", doubt filled, fear-filled thoughts that take whatever energy there used to be in the initial thought of "yes, thoughts are powerful" and drags us down into doubt or apathy.
There's an interesting conversation, something to dialogue about: Why do we so often deflate our own bubbles? Why do we so often drain our own energy around an idea or an action? We like to blame something else, but it's always our choice, isn't it?
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
I've asked many people the following question as a means of introducing my coaching service: "What do you believe about the power of thought over your success?"
Without fail (small sample size, yes, but anecdotal evidence is admittable sometimes, right?), everyone I've asked has said something along the lines of "Oh, yeah, thought is where it all begins, thoughts are powerful," etc.
So my question is, if the answer is so obvious, so what? What are we doing about it? If my thoughts are that powerful in terms of creating my success or failure, why am I not choosing to become the master of my internal dialogue and unleash the greatness inside?
Heh heh, what's my gut response?
Because I think too much.
Funny ain't it, how obvious it seems to be to many people, and yet even in the act of admitting that thoughts have a lot of power over our reality, we are still letting our thoughts dictate what effect those words have on our reality.
And the culprits aren't usually the initial thought, the initial "yes I agree" thought, but the secondary and tertiary thoughts, the ones that say stuff like "Yeah, but . . . it doesn't work for me," or "It's not quite as simple as that is it?", doubt filled, fear-filled thoughts that take whatever energy there used to be in the initial thought of "yes, thoughts are powerful" and drags us down into doubt or apathy.
There's an interesting conversation, something to dialogue about: Why do we so often deflate our own bubbles? Why do we so often drain our own energy around an idea or an action? We like to blame something else, but it's always our choice, isn't it?
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
How do I learn from the past without living in it?
One of the all-time classics, "A Christmas Carol" helps me consider the answer to the question, "How do I learn from the past without living in it?"
I guess it also kind of begs the question, CAN I learn from the past without living in it. Essentially, Ebenezer Scrooge is asked to "relive" his past, walking through shadows of what was, accompanied by the ghost of Christmas past. He is given the opportunity to see where his life choices will eventually lead, and that is what prompts his change of heart. Ugh, I don't do the story justice, but when I consider this question, I can't help but think of Scrooge.
We cannot control the past. We cannot control what happens tomorrow, either. We do have control over the now and especially over our thoughts and thus our actions in the now. But it is our past experience that normally determines how we think in the now. Despite past mistakes, heartaches, or pains, it's still refreshing to know that, like Ebenezer (interesting to note Dickens' use of the name with Biblical history, basically a "rock of remembrance"), we too can still change even after a life of poor choices.
May we ever choose to see and expect the best in all things, may we like Scrooge be reminded every now and again of what the logical conclusion of a life of choices lacking integrity will be.
I guess it also kind of begs the question, CAN I learn from the past without living in it. Essentially, Ebenezer Scrooge is asked to "relive" his past, walking through shadows of what was, accompanied by the ghost of Christmas past. He is given the opportunity to see where his life choices will eventually lead, and that is what prompts his change of heart. Ugh, I don't do the story justice, but when I consider this question, I can't help but think of Scrooge.
We cannot control the past. We cannot control what happens tomorrow, either. We do have control over the now and especially over our thoughts and thus our actions in the now. But it is our past experience that normally determines how we think in the now. Despite past mistakes, heartaches, or pains, it's still refreshing to know that, like Ebenezer (interesting to note Dickens' use of the name with Biblical history, basically a "rock of remembrance"), we too can still change even after a life of poor choices.
May we ever choose to see and expect the best in all things, may we like Scrooge be reminded every now and again of what the logical conclusion of a life of choices lacking integrity will be.
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