Why 6 Advisors™?
Recently I had a conversation with a buddy of mine regarding my choice to become a 6 Advisors™ coach/facilitator/consultant. It’s probably good practice to crystallize these ideas in some way, here’s a first pass.
It answers questions I had leaving the MBA program and the OB/HR Track there.
To give perspective on this, I think I need to go back to a time in my life when I was serving as a missionary in Brazil. My mission president was a successful businessman who, at the time, was an intimidating presence in my life, and yet I knew he was a pretty smart guy and didn’t get to where he was on accident. Anyhow, one of his teachings that really, really stuck with me (besides the gasoline/match in my belly conversation, ahem) was along the lines of true excellence being achieved by excelling at two things that superficially seem to be mutually exclusive. Since we were in Brazil, he used the race-car driver Ayrton Senna as an example. Apparently, there is a belief that in race car driving, you’re either a great driver or a great engineer, but rarely are the two found in the same individual. Senna had great driving instincts, but he also understood his machinery very well, to the point he could tell his mechanics what was wrong with the car before they got to it, and he was usually right. In any case, the idea can be applied to practically anything: can a company have a “fun” or “happy” culture and be successful financially? How about Southwest Airlines? Just one example, think about it.
ANYHOW, the question I had leaving school was this: Why does it seem that there are separations between OB/HR approaches that, on one hand, are statistically validated and can be “proven” with numbers, and on the other, feel more like philosophy, an argument of values? How do you reconcile the macro, organization-wide approaches of most OD interventions with the micro, one-on-one change model?
It seems to me that there is value in all these different approaches. But they were taught as and valued as mutually exclusive. If you use a macro approach, you can’t expect to affect people at the individual level, or even try to have any measurable success there. In fact, many macro approaches seem to be almost “cut your losses and move forward.” If you use a micro approach, it seems there is always a question of “How can we measure this across an organization?” Micro only helps one person, and often that change WON’T affect the organization unless that one person happens to be the CEO or at least the head of a department or a C-Level exec. Even so, that micro approach can’t have the depth or whatever to affect an organization.
I remember one teacher at school who was very into statistics, his approach was to change organizations by making sure you utilized statistically validated methods of recruiting and hiring. Integrity was there as a value, but only inasmuch as it could be “tested” for in a person.
Then there was the other side of things, where stuff just worked “because” it’s the “right way to do it,” words like empowerment, diversity, group dynamics, etc. All great concepts, yes. Can you prove any of it works up front? Not really. There’s tons of anecdotal, I guess there is research that supports those approaches, but approaches have to change organization to organization.
Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit on some of the particulars, but the impression I’ve always had is “Why is there not a tool or process that can do both?”
Enter 6 Advisors™.
Honestly, I believe this program found me. Are there really any coincidences in life? If you would like to learn more about this, go to www.sixadvisors.com, or you can let me know your interest and I’ll contact you offline about it.
To be continued . . .
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
C.O.P. Model of Leadership
In a book titled The Extraordinary Leader, there is a model of leadership success in organizations they (Zenger & Folkman, the authors) call the C.O.P. Model. C stands for Competency, O stands for Opportunity, P stands for Passion. (My apologies to the authors if I’m totally screwing up their model, I’m writing about it as I remember it having an impact on me)
I had an experience tonight that reminded me of this model. I don’t think I’ll go into much detail about the experience, except to say that I experienced a person who definitely had passion for his chosen profession, but lacked in the competency area and allowed mental blocks to keep him from potential opportunities.
I wanted to turn this model on to myself. I have chosen a career as a coach, a person who basically is paid to listen to people and help them find answers they already have inside themselves. I have defined my success as helping others find success. Let’s apply the C.O.P. model to my chosen career and my current situation.
Competency? Nobody likes to hear they’re NOT competent at something, especially something they’ve chosen to do or something they think, in their own mind, they’re good at. I believe that I have the competency to be a coach. My gut tells me so, my feedback from others tells me so, the last witness I’m waiting for is the financial stability that tells me so.
Passion. I’m skipping Opportunity because I want to talk more about that one. Passion? Do I have passion for coaching? Let me tell you this much. I am happier now about doing this work than I have been about any other work I’ve done in my life, with the possible exception of “family work” (diaper changing, yardwork with kids, that kind of work) and music, two kinds of work that, for me, don’t bring in enough money to provide for my family. When I get off a coaching call with a client, I find myself on a high. I am happy, I am joyful, and I am excited to meet with that person again next week. Do I have passion for coaching? Again, my gut tells me so, and people have told me that they can see how different I am now that I’ve chosen this profession. It’s because I’m enthusiastic about it.
Opportunity. This brings me back to the person I mentioned before, and it will provide a good jumping off point of discussion about how your thoughts can sabotage your efforts at success.
I mentioned the person had mental blocks keeping him from potential opportunities. This person is trying to start a business in an industry that yes, is tough to get into, unless you know the right people. If you don’t know the right people, it can be tough going. But it isn’t impossible. Somehow, however, this person seems to think that simply talking to people and building opportunities cannot happen without something going wrong. He has created a future reality in his present mind that is so real, his fight/flight response triggers and keeps him from taking any action towards meeting his goals.
I won’t say I’m experiencing phenomenal success financially—yet—but I can tell you for SURE, that since I decided to work on being fully present in the NOW instead of worrying about what might happen if I call someone, I have been able to talk to more people and create more OPPORTUNITIES than ever before. Competency? I think I got it. Passion? I’m pretty sure about that one too. Opportunities? In an organization, you may not be able to make your own opportunities, but the reality is that whether you’re in business for yourself or part of a larger organization, you can create your own opportunities. If you can get your thinking out of the way and “live each day as if it is my last” and “act NOW” (The Greatest Salesman, Scrolls V and IX), you make opportunities to match your competency and your passion. The more overlap you can create in the C.O.P. model, the better leader you will be, and if you stop being afraid of what might happen and instead take control of what you can do RIGHT NOW, you will be successful. I promise! It won’t happen overnight, because it’s probably a habit that’s ingrained. But if you choose to replace that habit with a new one focused on being fully present in the NOW, you will be successful.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
I had an experience tonight that reminded me of this model. I don’t think I’ll go into much detail about the experience, except to say that I experienced a person who definitely had passion for his chosen profession, but lacked in the competency area and allowed mental blocks to keep him from potential opportunities.
I wanted to turn this model on to myself. I have chosen a career as a coach, a person who basically is paid to listen to people and help them find answers they already have inside themselves. I have defined my success as helping others find success. Let’s apply the C.O.P. model to my chosen career and my current situation.
Competency? Nobody likes to hear they’re NOT competent at something, especially something they’ve chosen to do or something they think, in their own mind, they’re good at. I believe that I have the competency to be a coach. My gut tells me so, my feedback from others tells me so, the last witness I’m waiting for is the financial stability that tells me so.
Passion. I’m skipping Opportunity because I want to talk more about that one. Passion? Do I have passion for coaching? Let me tell you this much. I am happier now about doing this work than I have been about any other work I’ve done in my life, with the possible exception of “family work” (diaper changing, yardwork with kids, that kind of work) and music, two kinds of work that, for me, don’t bring in enough money to provide for my family. When I get off a coaching call with a client, I find myself on a high. I am happy, I am joyful, and I am excited to meet with that person again next week. Do I have passion for coaching? Again, my gut tells me so, and people have told me that they can see how different I am now that I’ve chosen this profession. It’s because I’m enthusiastic about it.
Opportunity. This brings me back to the person I mentioned before, and it will provide a good jumping off point of discussion about how your thoughts can sabotage your efforts at success.
I mentioned the person had mental blocks keeping him from potential opportunities. This person is trying to start a business in an industry that yes, is tough to get into, unless you know the right people. If you don’t know the right people, it can be tough going. But it isn’t impossible. Somehow, however, this person seems to think that simply talking to people and building opportunities cannot happen without something going wrong. He has created a future reality in his present mind that is so real, his fight/flight response triggers and keeps him from taking any action towards meeting his goals.
I won’t say I’m experiencing phenomenal success financially—yet—but I can tell you for SURE, that since I decided to work on being fully present in the NOW instead of worrying about what might happen if I call someone, I have been able to talk to more people and create more OPPORTUNITIES than ever before. Competency? I think I got it. Passion? I’m pretty sure about that one too. Opportunities? In an organization, you may not be able to make your own opportunities, but the reality is that whether you’re in business for yourself or part of a larger organization, you can create your own opportunities. If you can get your thinking out of the way and “live each day as if it is my last” and “act NOW” (The Greatest Salesman, Scrolls V and IX), you make opportunities to match your competency and your passion. The more overlap you can create in the C.O.P. model, the better leader you will be, and if you stop being afraid of what might happen and instead take control of what you can do RIGHT NOW, you will be successful. I promise! It won’t happen overnight, because it’s probably a habit that’s ingrained. But if you choose to replace that habit with a new one focused on being fully present in the NOW, you will be successful.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Maps vs. GPS Part Deux
So I’ve given more balanced thought (I think, I hope) to the Map/GPS debate. Let’s just say the pendulum has begun to swing back.
In a prior entry, I talked about how the GPS is a superior tool to the map because it tells you exactly where you are. Thing is, the GPS is useless without the map, isn’t it?
Yes, foot was in the mouth, allow me to extricate.
Maps are very powerful tools. They give us a broad perspective of the land, the environment around us. They give us something to shoot for, a destination, a goal. There is NOTHING WRONG with that.
The GPS is also a powerful tool, one that tells us exactly where we are ON A MAP. It’d be pretty funny to have a handheld GPS without a map programmed into it, huh? “Wow, look, there’s a dot here telling me where I am! Except I don’t have a map here so I don’t know where that is in relation to where I want to go . . . “
So, my apologies to anyone who has read this blog and felt I was being unfair to self-help programs that teach people to visualize success and to dream big. There is nothing wrong with that.
I will take issue if it’s a program that tells you where you want to go, what you can do to set goals, even helps you visualize success unique to you, WITHOUT a grounding in the reality that it takes faith, work, and persistence, one step at a time, to get there. Perfect understanding, accuracy as to what challenges lie ahead, is necessary to be able to overcome the obstacles that will come up. Without this accuracy, is it any wonder people try to finance their dreams by incurring overwhelming debt?
People try to take the easy way to fame, fortune and glory, but ultimately fail to reach it without an accurate read of where they are and what real challenges lay ahead of them. You can’t slay the dragon if you don’t even ride the horse to it’s lair. You can’t slay the dragon if you don’t know how to wield a sword or lance properly. You can’t slay the dragon by simply thinking about it. Can you imagine the look on a dragon’s face as you face it with your eyes scrunched closed, trying to think it away? Okay, beating a dead horse here, hope you get the picture.
Thing is, you also can’t slay the dragon if you don’t know how to get there. You can’t slay the dragon if you don’t BELIEVE you can. You can’t slay it until you make the CHOICE to do so. That involves visualizing victory before it happens. The difference is that you don’t stop with that visualization. You fantasize about all the steps it takes to get to the point where you are thrusting your sword into the spot where one scale is missing (The Hobbit, anyone?), and you work backwards to where you are RIGHT NOW and take the first step back on that path.
GPS and Map. A map is powerful, a GPS is nothing without a map, but a map will NOT help anyone who doesn’t take ACTION. Action and planning, faith and works, whatever you want to call it, both are needed to be done well in order to have success.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
In a prior entry, I talked about how the GPS is a superior tool to the map because it tells you exactly where you are. Thing is, the GPS is useless without the map, isn’t it?
Yes, foot was in the mouth, allow me to extricate.
Maps are very powerful tools. They give us a broad perspective of the land, the environment around us. They give us something to shoot for, a destination, a goal. There is NOTHING WRONG with that.
The GPS is also a powerful tool, one that tells us exactly where we are ON A MAP. It’d be pretty funny to have a handheld GPS without a map programmed into it, huh? “Wow, look, there’s a dot here telling me where I am! Except I don’t have a map here so I don’t know where that is in relation to where I want to go . . . “
So, my apologies to anyone who has read this blog and felt I was being unfair to self-help programs that teach people to visualize success and to dream big. There is nothing wrong with that.
I will take issue if it’s a program that tells you where you want to go, what you can do to set goals, even helps you visualize success unique to you, WITHOUT a grounding in the reality that it takes faith, work, and persistence, one step at a time, to get there. Perfect understanding, accuracy as to what challenges lie ahead, is necessary to be able to overcome the obstacles that will come up. Without this accuracy, is it any wonder people try to finance their dreams by incurring overwhelming debt?
People try to take the easy way to fame, fortune and glory, but ultimately fail to reach it without an accurate read of where they are and what real challenges lay ahead of them. You can’t slay the dragon if you don’t even ride the horse to it’s lair. You can’t slay the dragon if you don’t know how to wield a sword or lance properly. You can’t slay the dragon by simply thinking about it. Can you imagine the look on a dragon’s face as you face it with your eyes scrunched closed, trying to think it away? Okay, beating a dead horse here, hope you get the picture.
Thing is, you also can’t slay the dragon if you don’t know how to get there. You can’t slay the dragon if you don’t BELIEVE you can. You can’t slay it until you make the CHOICE to do so. That involves visualizing victory before it happens. The difference is that you don’t stop with that visualization. You fantasize about all the steps it takes to get to the point where you are thrusting your sword into the spot where one scale is missing (The Hobbit, anyone?), and you work backwards to where you are RIGHT NOW and take the first step back on that path.
GPS and Map. A map is powerful, a GPS is nothing without a map, but a map will NOT help anyone who doesn’t take ACTION. Action and planning, faith and works, whatever you want to call it, both are needed to be done well in order to have success.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Monday, June 19, 2006
The Cave
“Whereas our argument shows that the power and capacity of learning exists in the soul already; and that just as the eye was unable to turn from darkness to light without the whole body, so too the instrument of knowledge can only by the movement of the whole soul be turned from the world of becoming into that of being, and learn by degrees to endure the sight of being and of the brightest and best of being, or in other words, of the good.” (Plato’s Allegory of The Cave)
I try to think more and more about what sets 6 Advisors™ apart from all the other self-improvement or leadership development programs out there. The two ideas that keep coming to me are the GPS concept (see previous posts) and Plato’s Cave Allegory.
If you aren’t familiar with Plato’s Cave Allegory, just Google "Plato's Cave" or something like that, you'll find it, I'm sure.
In any case, a brief summary here will suffice: Plato describes our world as a place where people are only seeing the shadows of a reality that others want us to see, and that in leaving “the cave” we essentially become painfully aware of a higher level of reality. Once our eyes are adjusted to the light of truth outside the cave, we are better equipped to live there. I don’t want to go into too much detail, mostly because I am no Platonic expert, but the allegory is a powerful one when you consider all the many different models of improvement out there today.
There is a certain pain involved with finding the truth, especially about oneself. I just experienced this phenomenon with a client the other day. While going over her assessment with her, she asked me “You figured that out about me from that one assessment?” The look on her face was a mixture of astonishment, fear, and a general discomfort.
It might have been more pleasant for her to stay in ignorance of her habits of thought. She could easily choose to continue to believe in the shadows of images many improvement gurus preach, but she would never know the truth about herself and where she was. Only by experiencing the painful sensation of leaving the cave, stepping out of the darkness and into the light of self-knowledge and understanding, can she now choose.
It’s funny because we’re in a society that teaches us to lay responsibility of choices at someone or something else’s feet. Just like the people in the cave, we tend to like not having to be accountable for our thoughts, we just like to be told what to do, when to do it, and how. But true freedom comes from knowing that there is a choice, and true freedom comes form accepting responsibility for our choices. Problem is, if you don’t know you have a choice, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
Once you step out of the cave, however, you suddenly become aware of a choice. Do I choose to live out here in the fresh air of reality and a higher plane of living? Or do I choose to enter the cave or simply stay in the cave and live a life of pretending, of mere shadows of reality?
Ok, so what does 6 Advisors™ have to do with this whole thing? Here it is: a 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report is like someone taking you out into the sun of reality, because it tells you where your thought patterns ARE. It’s not trying to tell you how you should live, it’s not painting a grand picture of wealth and status out of shadows, it simply is giving you an accurate reading of where you are at. Remember the shackles of the cave? A 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report tells you which shackles are there, how tight they were, and what kinds of shadow images you had your mind open to, which ones you might have been blinking through. It’s a tool that allows a person to step out into the light of day, should that person choose to accept the responsibility for making that choice. Once you know all the available options, you are faced with the choice. Without the 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report, you are stuck not knowing what your options are.
Study the allegory. Think about what most, if not all, self-improvement gurus and leadership development gurus are selling. Are they giving you the tools to understand your unique situation and enough understanding of the unique choices you have? Or are they simply trying to keep you chained to your seat, unaware of the cave opening right behind you, all you gotta do is turn your head and choose to step outside.
Pontification over . . . for now, I guess.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
I try to think more and more about what sets 6 Advisors™ apart from all the other self-improvement or leadership development programs out there. The two ideas that keep coming to me are the GPS concept (see previous posts) and Plato’s Cave Allegory.
If you aren’t familiar with Plato’s Cave Allegory, just Google "Plato's Cave" or something like that, you'll find it, I'm sure.
In any case, a brief summary here will suffice: Plato describes our world as a place where people are only seeing the shadows of a reality that others want us to see, and that in leaving “the cave” we essentially become painfully aware of a higher level of reality. Once our eyes are adjusted to the light of truth outside the cave, we are better equipped to live there. I don’t want to go into too much detail, mostly because I am no Platonic expert, but the allegory is a powerful one when you consider all the many different models of improvement out there today.
There is a certain pain involved with finding the truth, especially about oneself. I just experienced this phenomenon with a client the other day. While going over her assessment with her, she asked me “You figured that out about me from that one assessment?” The look on her face was a mixture of astonishment, fear, and a general discomfort.
It might have been more pleasant for her to stay in ignorance of her habits of thought. She could easily choose to continue to believe in the shadows of images many improvement gurus preach, but she would never know the truth about herself and where she was. Only by experiencing the painful sensation of leaving the cave, stepping out of the darkness and into the light of self-knowledge and understanding, can she now choose.
It’s funny because we’re in a society that teaches us to lay responsibility of choices at someone or something else’s feet. Just like the people in the cave, we tend to like not having to be accountable for our thoughts, we just like to be told what to do, when to do it, and how. But true freedom comes from knowing that there is a choice, and true freedom comes form accepting responsibility for our choices. Problem is, if you don’t know you have a choice, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
Once you step out of the cave, however, you suddenly become aware of a choice. Do I choose to live out here in the fresh air of reality and a higher plane of living? Or do I choose to enter the cave or simply stay in the cave and live a life of pretending, of mere shadows of reality?
Ok, so what does 6 Advisors™ have to do with this whole thing? Here it is: a 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report is like someone taking you out into the sun of reality, because it tells you where your thought patterns ARE. It’s not trying to tell you how you should live, it’s not painting a grand picture of wealth and status out of shadows, it simply is giving you an accurate reading of where you are at. Remember the shackles of the cave? A 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report tells you which shackles are there, how tight they were, and what kinds of shadow images you had your mind open to, which ones you might have been blinking through. It’s a tool that allows a person to step out into the light of day, should that person choose to accept the responsibility for making that choice. Once you know all the available options, you are faced with the choice. Without the 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report, you are stuck not knowing what your options are.
Study the allegory. Think about what most, if not all, self-improvement gurus and leadership development gurus are selling. Are they giving you the tools to understand your unique situation and enough understanding of the unique choices you have? Or are they simply trying to keep you chained to your seat, unaware of the cave opening right behind you, all you gotta do is turn your head and choose to step outside.
Pontification over . . . for now, I guess.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
One Step at a Time
I went on a hike yesterday, my wife, kids and I along with my brother-in-law and his wife (my wife’s sister) and kids as well as some other in-laws (wife’s brothers and sisters). I am admittedly out of shape, overweight, not too much, but enough. I wasn’t too sure I wanted to go up that mountainside, but figured I would be fighting a losing battle if I tried to talk my way out of it.
I knew I was in trouble the moment I started up the incline. It seemed like I had taken maybe 3 steps before my heart was ready to jump out of my chest and my legs strained at the effort. For some reason I remembered the idea of taking each day, one day at a time, and I remembered times in my youth when I went on long walks or swims, once I even did a 15 mile road march (JROTC), and the thing that got me through those times was a similar attitude, one step at a time.
I found it to be an interesting metaphor, if you will, for life and the struggle to reach our goals. I have been making the effort to live my life one step at a time, building my business and my client list one phone call or one visit at a time, and taking things one day at a time. It has been very difficult for me, because I tend to look at the future and wonder why I can’t just be there NOW.
That’s what my kids were saying as we walked up, “I wish I had an exoskeleton with a jet pack to get me to the top of this mountain easier.” I had to chuckle to myself because I knew exactly what they meant. My daughter was walking up the mountain with me, holding my hand, and she made a comment similar to that, and I found a nice little opportunity to talk about how in life, if we just got things because we wanted them and didn’t have to work for them, it wouldn’t be valued. Something like that, I tried to be fatherly and wise, but I’m sure it didn’t phase her too much. Maybe 10 years from now she’ll remember, who knows.
It was also interesting to see my younger and more healthy brother-in-laws (unmarried ones) actually run certain lengths of the trail. Little punks. But that brought to mind yet another of my poor habits of thought, the tendency to compare my progress and speed to those around me. It’s easy to get disheartened when you compare your very worst to someone else’s very best; it’s unhealthy to even compare yourself to anyone else at all. It was so much easier for me to make the progress I did and complete the climb by focusing on moving forward.
Another lesson: using “The Law of the Big Mo,” as John C. Maxwell puts it. Along the way, the ladies would stop to rest with the kids, finding shady spots to sit, catch a breather, and drink water. Now, understand that I’m not saying they were wrong to do that. Also understand that the climb is arduous, but we completed the whole climb in about 40 minutes? It wasn’t like a whole day hike or anything.
The point I’m making with this is that I found myself feeling MORE tired after having stopped than if I simply kept my feet moving one step at a time and even slowing my pace down or taking smaller chunks of the mountain at a time. The younger kids would run ahead of me, but then they’d tire out and stop. I would pass them and keep going. I actually reached the destination soon after the young boys who were running and in shape got to the top. But it wasn’t because I moved faster. It was because I chose to keep moving forward.
Yet another lesson from yesterday’s climb: this one is a self-critique. My wife was up there with me along with my two oldest children. There were moments when I engaged them in conversation or support, but what did I end up doing most of the time? I focused on MY efforts at climbing the mountain as opposed to helping them get up the mountain with me. Might I be better off choosing a different approach next time?
Last one: coming down the mountain. When I started down the mountain, my brother-in-law (19) walked with me. We struck up a pretty engaging conversation, actually surprisingly philosophical, and yet if you know this kid (I call him kid), he’s pretty sharp and in tune with life. Honestly, I got to the bottom and yes, my legs were tired, but I was so busy talking about stuff with him that when I got to the bottom, we continued our conversation waiting for the rest of the party. Maybe the point is that the harder we try something, the harder we make it, but when we’re engaged in people while we’re working towards something, we forget our own pain and are able to get the work done more quickly and I’d say easily while also having a fulfilling conversation. I must be losing steam now, I don’t think that lesson was made as clearly as others. But I know there’s something there . . .
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
I knew I was in trouble the moment I started up the incline. It seemed like I had taken maybe 3 steps before my heart was ready to jump out of my chest and my legs strained at the effort. For some reason I remembered the idea of taking each day, one day at a time, and I remembered times in my youth when I went on long walks or swims, once I even did a 15 mile road march (JROTC), and the thing that got me through those times was a similar attitude, one step at a time.
I found it to be an interesting metaphor, if you will, for life and the struggle to reach our goals. I have been making the effort to live my life one step at a time, building my business and my client list one phone call or one visit at a time, and taking things one day at a time. It has been very difficult for me, because I tend to look at the future and wonder why I can’t just be there NOW.
That’s what my kids were saying as we walked up, “I wish I had an exoskeleton with a jet pack to get me to the top of this mountain easier.” I had to chuckle to myself because I knew exactly what they meant. My daughter was walking up the mountain with me, holding my hand, and she made a comment similar to that, and I found a nice little opportunity to talk about how in life, if we just got things because we wanted them and didn’t have to work for them, it wouldn’t be valued. Something like that, I tried to be fatherly and wise, but I’m sure it didn’t phase her too much. Maybe 10 years from now she’ll remember, who knows.
It was also interesting to see my younger and more healthy brother-in-laws (unmarried ones) actually run certain lengths of the trail. Little punks. But that brought to mind yet another of my poor habits of thought, the tendency to compare my progress and speed to those around me. It’s easy to get disheartened when you compare your very worst to someone else’s very best; it’s unhealthy to even compare yourself to anyone else at all. It was so much easier for me to make the progress I did and complete the climb by focusing on moving forward.
Another lesson: using “The Law of the Big Mo,” as John C. Maxwell puts it. Along the way, the ladies would stop to rest with the kids, finding shady spots to sit, catch a breather, and drink water. Now, understand that I’m not saying they were wrong to do that. Also understand that the climb is arduous, but we completed the whole climb in about 40 minutes? It wasn’t like a whole day hike or anything.
The point I’m making with this is that I found myself feeling MORE tired after having stopped than if I simply kept my feet moving one step at a time and even slowing my pace down or taking smaller chunks of the mountain at a time. The younger kids would run ahead of me, but then they’d tire out and stop. I would pass them and keep going. I actually reached the destination soon after the young boys who were running and in shape got to the top. But it wasn’t because I moved faster. It was because I chose to keep moving forward.
Yet another lesson from yesterday’s climb: this one is a self-critique. My wife was up there with me along with my two oldest children. There were moments when I engaged them in conversation or support, but what did I end up doing most of the time? I focused on MY efforts at climbing the mountain as opposed to helping them get up the mountain with me. Might I be better off choosing a different approach next time?
Last one: coming down the mountain. When I started down the mountain, my brother-in-law (19) walked with me. We struck up a pretty engaging conversation, actually surprisingly philosophical, and yet if you know this kid (I call him kid), he’s pretty sharp and in tune with life. Honestly, I got to the bottom and yes, my legs were tired, but I was so busy talking about stuff with him that when I got to the bottom, we continued our conversation waiting for the rest of the party. Maybe the point is that the harder we try something, the harder we make it, but when we’re engaged in people while we’re working towards something, we forget our own pain and are able to get the work done more quickly and I’d say easily while also having a fulfilling conversation. I must be losing steam now, I don’t think that lesson was made as clearly as others. But I know there’s something there . . .
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Maps vs. the GPS
Just looking at the first website on a Google search for “buy a map,” I found a Rand McNally street atlas for $9.
Then I just did a search for the terms “buy handheld GPS.” I found, on Amazon.com, a handheld Magellan GPS for $180.
In this specific instance, the GPS was priced 20x higher than the map.
Ok, I know my analogy could have some pukas (holes, in Hawaiian), but bear with me.
Answer for yourself the following: which tool would you rather have? Which tool is more valuable? Which tool is more helpful?
I’m going to assume that most people will answer GPS. Maybe a bad assumption, but I’m going with it anyway.
What is it about a GPS that makes it so much more valuable than a simple map?
One reason: IT TELLS YOU WHERE YOU ARE.
Simple, isn’t it?
What do you look for when you walk into a mall you’ve never been in before? I don’t know about you, I look for a directory sign, and what do I look for first? NOT the stores that are in there, I look for a red dot that says “YOU ARE HERE.”
Okay, so now that you’ve got that idea set up in your mind, here’s where I’m going with this: What do you think most, if not all, success/self-improvement/leadership/development/training gurus are giving you with their programs? Are they giving you maps? Some claim to give you a compass. Is anyone giving you a GPS?
As you ponder the answer to that question, let me talk about the power of knowing where you are, with accuracy to within 10 feet as it were. Is there not a wise saying that goes “Know thyself”? What is it about knowing one’s self that is so important? How can knowing exactly where you are at any given moment in time be helpful? How can having an accurate description of your patterns of thought, built up over years of experiences, as they stand right now, help you understand what motivates your habits, your temper, your pet peeves, your joys, your frustrations, your motivations?
If you don’t think having a GPS is more powerful than having a map as a tool for success, you can stop reading here.
If you’re like me and would rather have a GPS than a map, read on.
I have found (and I am obviously biased) what I think is the GPS of the self-improvement and development world. It’s called the 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report (check out www.sixadvisors.com for more details).
We are a society that is very goal oriented, where goals and expectations and ways to measure success and the bottom line and results are what makes the world go round. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with goal-setting. But do the goals you set represent the map? Or are they the GPS? For most people, it is the map. And when they struggle to meet their goals or feel disappointed when they just missed their goal or when people get fired for not meeting quotas, all that remains are questions: I set goals, I worked towards them, I did everything I thought was necessary, I even visualized the end result, but somehow things didn’t work out. What happened? Am I a loser?
No, you’re not a loser, and what happened is you didn’t go into the process of working towards your goal with one simple yet powerful piece of knowledge: where you are.
Which brings me back to 6 Advisors™. I propose to you that the 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report is the GPS in a world full of maps. It can accurately tell you, after taking a 20-30 minute assessment, where you are, and it is totally unique to YOU. You won’t be placed in some color code, you won’t be assigned a four letter designation, your report is like holding a GPS in your hands telling you exactly where YOU are, not how you might be similar to someone else or whatever. If you want to take the analogy further, I’m sure there are places in the world where two people could be standing 10 feet away from each other but have verrrry different obstacles to overcome if they were heading for the same goal.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Then I just did a search for the terms “buy handheld GPS.” I found, on Amazon.com, a handheld Magellan GPS for $180.
In this specific instance, the GPS was priced 20x higher than the map.
Ok, I know my analogy could have some pukas (holes, in Hawaiian), but bear with me.
Answer for yourself the following: which tool would you rather have? Which tool is more valuable? Which tool is more helpful?
I’m going to assume that most people will answer GPS. Maybe a bad assumption, but I’m going with it anyway.
What is it about a GPS that makes it so much more valuable than a simple map?
One reason: IT TELLS YOU WHERE YOU ARE.
Simple, isn’t it?
What do you look for when you walk into a mall you’ve never been in before? I don’t know about you, I look for a directory sign, and what do I look for first? NOT the stores that are in there, I look for a red dot that says “YOU ARE HERE.”
Okay, so now that you’ve got that idea set up in your mind, here’s where I’m going with this: What do you think most, if not all, success/self-improvement/leadership/development/training gurus are giving you with their programs? Are they giving you maps? Some claim to give you a compass. Is anyone giving you a GPS?
As you ponder the answer to that question, let me talk about the power of knowing where you are, with accuracy to within 10 feet as it were. Is there not a wise saying that goes “Know thyself”? What is it about knowing one’s self that is so important? How can knowing exactly where you are at any given moment in time be helpful? How can having an accurate description of your patterns of thought, built up over years of experiences, as they stand right now, help you understand what motivates your habits, your temper, your pet peeves, your joys, your frustrations, your motivations?
If you don’t think having a GPS is more powerful than having a map as a tool for success, you can stop reading here.
If you’re like me and would rather have a GPS than a map, read on.
I have found (and I am obviously biased) what I think is the GPS of the self-improvement and development world. It’s called the 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report (check out www.sixadvisors.com for more details).
We are a society that is very goal oriented, where goals and expectations and ways to measure success and the bottom line and results are what makes the world go round. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with goal-setting. But do the goals you set represent the map? Or are they the GPS? For most people, it is the map. And when they struggle to meet their goals or feel disappointed when they just missed their goal or when people get fired for not meeting quotas, all that remains are questions: I set goals, I worked towards them, I did everything I thought was necessary, I even visualized the end result, but somehow things didn’t work out. What happened? Am I a loser?
No, you’re not a loser, and what happened is you didn’t go into the process of working towards your goal with one simple yet powerful piece of knowledge: where you are.
Which brings me back to 6 Advisors™. I propose to you that the 6 Advisors™ Assessment Report is the GPS in a world full of maps. It can accurately tell you, after taking a 20-30 minute assessment, where you are, and it is totally unique to YOU. You won’t be placed in some color code, you won’t be assigned a four letter designation, your report is like holding a GPS in your hands telling you exactly where YOU are, not how you might be similar to someone else or whatever. If you want to take the analogy further, I’m sure there are places in the world where two people could be standing 10 feet away from each other but have verrrry different obstacles to overcome if they were heading for the same goal.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Altered Reality
My wife asked me an interesting question the other day: “ Which advisor likes to play video games?”
Honestly, it was at the same time an unexpected and yet very fair question for me. Here I am working on being a 6 Advisors coach, and my wife perceives in me something that had little or no explanation that has at times put our marriage at a less than desirable state of love, respect and appreciation. Why wouldn’t she ask me this question since I’ve been sharing so many insights into myself using the 6 Advisors framework?
I can remember the moment she asked me. I can remember physically preparing for a fight, my body bristling with the energy needed for the upcoming fight. And then I remembered all the lessons I had learned, and tried to make it more about her than about me. I sat there looking at her, and I made a conscious choice to limit what came out of my mouth to questions. I’d be lying if I said they were a conscious effort at intrinsic validation, but I do remember asking questions in the effort to reframe my thinking about myself into striving to understand her point of view.
I didn’t answer her question that night. But I did think a lot about the question. I realize many people think video games are stupid. But bear with me as I explore this.
Here’s what I’ve discovered upon some reflection: I – well, actually, my advisor likes video games because there is a sense of accomplishment that comes from playing video games. In the real world, success and achievement come through hard work and over time. In that otherworld that exists as ones and zeros, success and achievement come without the work and over a short window of time. Also, instead of overcoming my own challenges, in that otherworld of ones and zeros I am achieving excellence on the gridiron of a make-believe football world or defeating hordes of evil aliens bent on the annihilation of humankind.
The thing is, my ADVISOR THINKS ITS REAL. It doesn’t care that it’s an alternate reality, a fantasy world without any real substance. To this advisor, THAT WORLD IS AS REAL AS MY WIFE, CHILDREN, WORK, etc. And that alternate reality needs me as much as, even more than, real reality.
So, I have come to understand myself a little more. Kinda scary, yes. But something funny about seeing our challenges in the light of truth makes them less scary and empowers me to know how to overcome.
But I didn’t stop there, I asked myself another question: Is this an addiction? If it is, where is it coming from?
Addiction is a word often associated with chemicals like alcohol, drugs, caffeine, etc. Only recently has pornography been added to the list of things associated with addictions. Video games are addictive, but rarely considered something needing therapy. And yet with my new understanding of my relationship with video games, I can’t help but think that addiction is the right word to describe it. What does my playing video games have in common with alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc? And if in truth my attitude about playing video games comes from an advisor, is this danger applicable to things less obvious that this advisor touches?
The commonality does have to do with chemicals. It’s the chemical that my body creates when I throw a touchdown pass in that alternate reality. It’s the chemical that my body creates when I achieve real success in the real world. It’s the chemical that comes from being right, from winning, from achieving great things. The addiction is there. It may be different from addictions to chemicals we can take in to our bodies. The problem with this chemical is that our body creates this chemical on its own. And our advisor likes this chemical. This chemical is powerful and makes the advisor feel powerful.
It’s not much of a stretch to see the link between this advisor and my sometimes caustically competitive nature. I don’t normally seek to win at all costs. And yet there have been many times when I have nearly destroyed relationships over games, not video games, but Monopoly games or Settlers games or Uno games.
SO WHAT? That is the question now. I won’t say that things are all better now, and I can get on with my life. But my self-awareness is raised. I didn’t know I had a choice before, I thought that was “just the way I am.” But I know now I have a choice. I can choose how to think about games, video and non, and that will help me make better choices. I can choose how I respond to being right/wrong, winning/losing propositions, etc. I can choose to succeed in reality with the understanding that success comes to those who understand the work and do the work necessary to achieve success; that success is a life-process for which there are no shortcuts; that the world in which real success resides is, well, the REAL WORLD. To be successful, I must strive, every day, to do the things that help me become the kind of person for whom success is a NATURAL OUTCOME of who I am.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Honestly, it was at the same time an unexpected and yet very fair question for me. Here I am working on being a 6 Advisors coach, and my wife perceives in me something that had little or no explanation that has at times put our marriage at a less than desirable state of love, respect and appreciation. Why wouldn’t she ask me this question since I’ve been sharing so many insights into myself using the 6 Advisors framework?
I can remember the moment she asked me. I can remember physically preparing for a fight, my body bristling with the energy needed for the upcoming fight. And then I remembered all the lessons I had learned, and tried to make it more about her than about me. I sat there looking at her, and I made a conscious choice to limit what came out of my mouth to questions. I’d be lying if I said they were a conscious effort at intrinsic validation, but I do remember asking questions in the effort to reframe my thinking about myself into striving to understand her point of view.
I didn’t answer her question that night. But I did think a lot about the question. I realize many people think video games are stupid. But bear with me as I explore this.
Here’s what I’ve discovered upon some reflection: I – well, actually, my advisor likes video games because there is a sense of accomplishment that comes from playing video games. In the real world, success and achievement come through hard work and over time. In that otherworld that exists as ones and zeros, success and achievement come without the work and over a short window of time. Also, instead of overcoming my own challenges, in that otherworld of ones and zeros I am achieving excellence on the gridiron of a make-believe football world or defeating hordes of evil aliens bent on the annihilation of humankind.
The thing is, my ADVISOR THINKS ITS REAL. It doesn’t care that it’s an alternate reality, a fantasy world without any real substance. To this advisor, THAT WORLD IS AS REAL AS MY WIFE, CHILDREN, WORK, etc. And that alternate reality needs me as much as, even more than, real reality.
So, I have come to understand myself a little more. Kinda scary, yes. But something funny about seeing our challenges in the light of truth makes them less scary and empowers me to know how to overcome.
But I didn’t stop there, I asked myself another question: Is this an addiction? If it is, where is it coming from?
Addiction is a word often associated with chemicals like alcohol, drugs, caffeine, etc. Only recently has pornography been added to the list of things associated with addictions. Video games are addictive, but rarely considered something needing therapy. And yet with my new understanding of my relationship with video games, I can’t help but think that addiction is the right word to describe it. What does my playing video games have in common with alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc? And if in truth my attitude about playing video games comes from an advisor, is this danger applicable to things less obvious that this advisor touches?
The commonality does have to do with chemicals. It’s the chemical that my body creates when I throw a touchdown pass in that alternate reality. It’s the chemical that my body creates when I achieve real success in the real world. It’s the chemical that comes from being right, from winning, from achieving great things. The addiction is there. It may be different from addictions to chemicals we can take in to our bodies. The problem with this chemical is that our body creates this chemical on its own. And our advisor likes this chemical. This chemical is powerful and makes the advisor feel powerful.
It’s not much of a stretch to see the link between this advisor and my sometimes caustically competitive nature. I don’t normally seek to win at all costs. And yet there have been many times when I have nearly destroyed relationships over games, not video games, but Monopoly games or Settlers games or Uno games.
SO WHAT? That is the question now. I won’t say that things are all better now, and I can get on with my life. But my self-awareness is raised. I didn’t know I had a choice before, I thought that was “just the way I am.” But I know now I have a choice. I can choose how to think about games, video and non, and that will help me make better choices. I can choose how I respond to being right/wrong, winning/losing propositions, etc. I can choose to succeed in reality with the understanding that success comes to those who understand the work and do the work necessary to achieve success; that success is a life-process for which there are no shortcuts; that the world in which real success resides is, well, the REAL WORLD. To be successful, I must strive, every day, to do the things that help me become the kind of person for whom success is a NATURAL OUTCOME of who I am.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Trying to "be cool"
I had a memory yesterday, it involved a time in my life when I was young and still figuring out who I was. I’m still figuring this out, I guess that’s why the memory came so quickly.
I was a “junior leader” for a summer activities program, kind of like a teacher’s assistant. I was a pubescent teenager, and I was probably as insecure about myself as anybody. But I had fun, and I remember really enjoying hanging out with others and being with the kids in the program, I was pretty happy.
I was also probably really “dorky” if I remember correctly, maybe it was the way I thought people saw me so I fulfilled that vision I thought others had of me. Weird in a way, isn’t it.
Anyhow, here’s the memory: at the end of the summer, there was a retreat for all the junior leaders and some of the administrators. We stayed at a beach house, right on the beach, it was beautiful. I loved being able to just wake up and go jump in the water for a swim. Girls and boys in separate rooms, of course.
At the end of the whole shebang, there was this closing ceremony. Everyone got certificates of achievement, actually it was more along the lines of the high-school yearbook “Most likely to” section. Well, I didn’t receive anything until what seemed the very end. One guy (definitely the nicest guy, everybody liked him, girls all drooled over him) was given the “Coolest guy” award, something like that. Everyone clapped, enjoyed it. Then they gave out the award for “The guy who thinks he’s cool.”
You guessed it. Me.
(I just had another memory from this retreat, if I remember correctly, we were all out on the reef and a girl stepped on wana (Hawaiian name for it, can’t remember the English word for it), she was hurting bad, someone needed to swim back to shore to get help. I volunteered, swam about a mile back to shore to get help. Funny how we remember these things, huh?)
So, I look back at that experience and wonder how much that affected me, how much it even affects me now. I remember that the fact I was being compared to the “coolest” guy there, and that it made it very obvious that I was so not cool. I try to think of benign reasons for doing something like that (remember it was the “leaders” who decided on and gave out these awards of recognition), the best I can come up with is they were ignorant. That word has taken on a pretty nasty meaning, but I’m saying the just didn’t know, just weren’t aware, didn’t consider the cost or the impact their act could have. I think about all the other junior leaders there, my peers, who laughed along with everyone else.
Sigh.
I’d like to say I’m over it now, but to be honest, I still feel a little hurt, the sting still lingers. Why am I remembering this now? Well, because I am in a better place now as far as my own maturity, I believe it’s easier for me to take something from this experience and turn it into positive action. I look at my life now and can understand that experiences like this may have created an issue for my Self-Esteem Advisor. Perhaps all these years I have allowed experiences like that to determine who I see myself as, and it has functioned like the weights and handicaps on Harrison Bergeron. We live in a society that all at once creates heroes of those who are different, and yet our children learn quickly, as if it were a natural born tendency, to ridicule difference if it somehow doesn’t fit the “norm”.
Though Harrison Bergeron ended up getting killed by the system, we have power to break through the systems that have been imposed upon us, both from within and from without.
In my case, I have been carrying around a lead weight all these years, the experience of being branded “not cool,” and that system took root in my body and has instructed me how to see myself in relation to others. Once I choose to shed that weight, like Harrison Bergeron, I too will be able to fly, to “kiss the ceiling,” only in my story, Diana Moon Glampers won’t have any power to stop me, because I will simply choose so.
(I understand that Harrison Bergeron was kind of more meant to criticize a society in which all are equal. I think it has application in this internal context, too.)
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
I was a “junior leader” for a summer activities program, kind of like a teacher’s assistant. I was a pubescent teenager, and I was probably as insecure about myself as anybody. But I had fun, and I remember really enjoying hanging out with others and being with the kids in the program, I was pretty happy.
I was also probably really “dorky” if I remember correctly, maybe it was the way I thought people saw me so I fulfilled that vision I thought others had of me. Weird in a way, isn’t it.
Anyhow, here’s the memory: at the end of the summer, there was a retreat for all the junior leaders and some of the administrators. We stayed at a beach house, right on the beach, it was beautiful. I loved being able to just wake up and go jump in the water for a swim. Girls and boys in separate rooms, of course.
At the end of the whole shebang, there was this closing ceremony. Everyone got certificates of achievement, actually it was more along the lines of the high-school yearbook “Most likely to” section. Well, I didn’t receive anything until what seemed the very end. One guy (definitely the nicest guy, everybody liked him, girls all drooled over him) was given the “Coolest guy” award, something like that. Everyone clapped, enjoyed it. Then they gave out the award for “The guy who thinks he’s cool.”
You guessed it. Me.
(I just had another memory from this retreat, if I remember correctly, we were all out on the reef and a girl stepped on wana (Hawaiian name for it, can’t remember the English word for it), she was hurting bad, someone needed to swim back to shore to get help. I volunteered, swam about a mile back to shore to get help. Funny how we remember these things, huh?)
So, I look back at that experience and wonder how much that affected me, how much it even affects me now. I remember that the fact I was being compared to the “coolest” guy there, and that it made it very obvious that I was so not cool. I try to think of benign reasons for doing something like that (remember it was the “leaders” who decided on and gave out these awards of recognition), the best I can come up with is they were ignorant. That word has taken on a pretty nasty meaning, but I’m saying the just didn’t know, just weren’t aware, didn’t consider the cost or the impact their act could have. I think about all the other junior leaders there, my peers, who laughed along with everyone else.
Sigh.
I’d like to say I’m over it now, but to be honest, I still feel a little hurt, the sting still lingers. Why am I remembering this now? Well, because I am in a better place now as far as my own maturity, I believe it’s easier for me to take something from this experience and turn it into positive action. I look at my life now and can understand that experiences like this may have created an issue for my Self-Esteem Advisor. Perhaps all these years I have allowed experiences like that to determine who I see myself as, and it has functioned like the weights and handicaps on Harrison Bergeron. We live in a society that all at once creates heroes of those who are different, and yet our children learn quickly, as if it were a natural born tendency, to ridicule difference if it somehow doesn’t fit the “norm”.
Though Harrison Bergeron ended up getting killed by the system, we have power to break through the systems that have been imposed upon us, both from within and from without.
In my case, I have been carrying around a lead weight all these years, the experience of being branded “not cool,” and that system took root in my body and has instructed me how to see myself in relation to others. Once I choose to shed that weight, like Harrison Bergeron, I too will be able to fly, to “kiss the ceiling,” only in my story, Diana Moon Glampers won’t have any power to stop me, because I will simply choose so.
(I understand that Harrison Bergeron was kind of more meant to criticize a society in which all are equal. I think it has application in this internal context, too.)
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Faith in my ability
Today I said a prayer.
In the moment of its utterance, I didn’t perceive it as a prayer any different than those I have said in the past. Yet here I sit at my computer typing these words because I sensed something, felt something, learned something from this prayer that has given me something. That something I cannot describe; an insight? A learning? A prognostication? A sense of peace? Faith? All these words describe it, yet none do it justice.
Even now the words I uttered are escaping my mind, even though I am typing immediately after my prayer.
In Og Mandino’s book The Greatest Salesman he introduces 10 Scrolls which contain the wisdom of the ages. Scroll X speaks of the salesman’s prayer, a prayer that asks for guidance and “ability to match my opportunity.”
I began my prayer with that in mind. As I started to say those words, I was given a glimpse of understanding, and like Santiago in The Alchemist (just finished reading that this morning), I cannot dismiss this “omen.”
Yes, I should ask for guidance, and I should ask for ability to match my opportunities. But even more so, I need to understand that my ability already matches my opportunities. The Lord’s guidance is already there. God (I believe in God, you may call him whatever you will) has guided me to this point in my life, and has prepared the opportunities of today specifically for me. No other person in the entire world, in the history of the world, no creature in the entire universe has been prepared as I have for this moment, for this day, for the opportunities that await me today.
Knowing this is not enough, however. It is equally important to have faith in the faith God has in me. To recognize that every day is another step towards heaven. Every day is a tool God has given us to create. Hoping to have ability to match my opportunities is much different from knowing I have that ability and moving forward with the faith necessary to unlock the collaboration of the universe.
It is also important to know that the opportunities we don’t receive are not due to failure but simply because we weren’t ready for them yet or because we don’t need that opportunity to continue forward on our quest.
I cannot say if it was God who gave me this insight, I cannot say this insight will generate any new knowledge for anyone else, I cannot say I will take this knowledge and put it into practice immediately. It was all of those things, and probably more. As I focus on the moment at hand, I do know that I have been given a glimpse of my power and ability and I understand right now that the opportunities that lay ahead of me are mine and mine alone. Whether I am beaten down by these opportunities or raised up, they are mine, I must weather them, I must learn from them.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
In the moment of its utterance, I didn’t perceive it as a prayer any different than those I have said in the past. Yet here I sit at my computer typing these words because I sensed something, felt something, learned something from this prayer that has given me something. That something I cannot describe; an insight? A learning? A prognostication? A sense of peace? Faith? All these words describe it, yet none do it justice.
Even now the words I uttered are escaping my mind, even though I am typing immediately after my prayer.
In Og Mandino’s book The Greatest Salesman he introduces 10 Scrolls which contain the wisdom of the ages. Scroll X speaks of the salesman’s prayer, a prayer that asks for guidance and “ability to match my opportunity.”
I began my prayer with that in mind. As I started to say those words, I was given a glimpse of understanding, and like Santiago in The Alchemist (just finished reading that this morning), I cannot dismiss this “omen.”
Yes, I should ask for guidance, and I should ask for ability to match my opportunities. But even more so, I need to understand that my ability already matches my opportunities. The Lord’s guidance is already there. God (I believe in God, you may call him whatever you will) has guided me to this point in my life, and has prepared the opportunities of today specifically for me. No other person in the entire world, in the history of the world, no creature in the entire universe has been prepared as I have for this moment, for this day, for the opportunities that await me today.
Knowing this is not enough, however. It is equally important to have faith in the faith God has in me. To recognize that every day is another step towards heaven. Every day is a tool God has given us to create. Hoping to have ability to match my opportunities is much different from knowing I have that ability and moving forward with the faith necessary to unlock the collaboration of the universe.
It is also important to know that the opportunities we don’t receive are not due to failure but simply because we weren’t ready for them yet or because we don’t need that opportunity to continue forward on our quest.
I cannot say if it was God who gave me this insight, I cannot say this insight will generate any new knowledge for anyone else, I cannot say I will take this knowledge and put it into practice immediately. It was all of those things, and probably more. As I focus on the moment at hand, I do know that I have been given a glimpse of my power and ability and I understand right now that the opportunities that lay ahead of me are mine and mine alone. Whether I am beaten down by these opportunities or raised up, they are mine, I must weather them, I must learn from them.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Climb Every Mountain
The other night we watched The Sound of Music with our kids. Traditionally, my wife has fast-forwarded the song “Climb Every Mountain,” something about that nun’s singing just doesn’t sit right I guess. Maybe anyone’s singing would seem that way compared to Julie Andrews in her prime.
Anyhow, for the first time in a while I actually turned my critical ear off to try to understand the message. Here are the lyrics:
“Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every byway, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream
A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live”
Something about it hit me a different way that night, and it’s stuck with me for the last coupla days. If you haven’t seen the flick, the song comes at a time in the main character’s life when she is afraid of love. You might say she’s afraid of her calling, mission, “Personal Legend” (currently reading Coelho’s The Alchemist), whatever. She’s run away from the challenge and is hiding behind her life as a fraulein, nun, whatever you call it.
Realizing what’s going on, as many wise religious people are apt to do in a movie (it actually happens in real life sometimes, too), the head nun (what’s that called? I’m no Catholic, sorry) sings the song to the main character. In essence, she’s telling the young lady that she can’t hide in the nunnery, that she must chase after her dream and be willing to do whatever it takes to get there.
Hmm.
I find myself in a similar state. I feel pretty strongly about the career I’ve (finally) chosen for myself. I know it is fraught with peril and heartbreak (I’m also a fan of Og Mandino), especially being self-employed, especially starting from scratch, but as the song says, I need to do everything possible, and even sometimes impossible, to find my dream. I need to give my effort all the love I can give, every day of my life. If I end today wondering if I gave my best effort, I must redouble my efforts. Each day is a new day with new challenges, and if I do give all the love I can give every day of my life for as long as I live, I will find my dream.
Faith and effort are required. Effort to get the work done, faith to know that whatever the outcome, it will be well worth it.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Anyhow, for the first time in a while I actually turned my critical ear off to try to understand the message. Here are the lyrics:
“Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every byway, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream
A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live”
Something about it hit me a different way that night, and it’s stuck with me for the last coupla days. If you haven’t seen the flick, the song comes at a time in the main character’s life when she is afraid of love. You might say she’s afraid of her calling, mission, “Personal Legend” (currently reading Coelho’s The Alchemist), whatever. She’s run away from the challenge and is hiding behind her life as a fraulein, nun, whatever you call it.
Realizing what’s going on, as many wise religious people are apt to do in a movie (it actually happens in real life sometimes, too), the head nun (what’s that called? I’m no Catholic, sorry) sings the song to the main character. In essence, she’s telling the young lady that she can’t hide in the nunnery, that she must chase after her dream and be willing to do whatever it takes to get there.
Hmm.
I find myself in a similar state. I feel pretty strongly about the career I’ve (finally) chosen for myself. I know it is fraught with peril and heartbreak (I’m also a fan of Og Mandino), especially being self-employed, especially starting from scratch, but as the song says, I need to do everything possible, and even sometimes impossible, to find my dream. I need to give my effort all the love I can give, every day of my life. If I end today wondering if I gave my best effort, I must redouble my efforts. Each day is a new day with new challenges, and if I do give all the love I can give every day of my life for as long as I live, I will find my dream.
Faith and effort are required. Effort to get the work done, faith to know that whatever the outcome, it will be well worth it.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Time & Choice
Recently my wife asked me “Why are you playing a video game?” The first answer that came to mind was, “I’m bored, so I just want to waste some time until I get to sleep.”
I’ve considered the sheer stupidity of my answer since then, due in part because of my wife’s response, which I’ll leave to your imagination (How might you respond to that kind of statement?). The more I think about and read about the concept of time, the more I recognize that my understanding of time is out of whack and that I needed to rethink what time means to me.
I did some internet research on clocks, calendars and time. I wanted to find out the origin of the concept of “time.” Ancient civilizations were interested in the passage of time. From the cycle of the moon to the passing of seasons, people have almost always kept track of the passage of time in some way. Many ancient civilizations invented ingenious methods of tracking the passage of time. Which brings us to the present use of the concept “time.” The question I asked myself was this: What has changed about our perception of time?
The answer, I believe, comes from the “why” of time tracking. Ancient peoples tracked the time to understand things about their world and its relation to the universe. They tracked time to know when to plow the fields, when to plant, when to harvest. Navigators at sea needed accurate timekeeping tools to guide their ships to safety. What do we keep track of time for now? Not to belittle the importance of punctuality, but being on time for your 9:00 a.m. meeting is quite a bit of a shift from keeping the crew of your ship alive, don’t you think?
And so I come back to the concept of wasting time. Something about that phrase bothered me; here’s what I’ve discovered for myself.
Wasting time is not possible. Time is not a commodity that you can gain more of, save up, or lose in some way. I can waste paper by printing more copies of the meeting agenda than I needed. However, time just IS, it just flows on and on, and as such, cannot be wasted. Moreover, what I think of as “wasting time” or “killing time” is simply my way of excusing myself from responsibility for the way I utilized that space of time.
Just as the paper I wasted does not govern my life, time is not that which governs our lives. However, choice is. Time is simply one of the many external realities to which we have the power to choose our responses, like the weather, the family into which we were born, our financial situations, etc.
As our culture moves further into the “information age,” the wisdom of farmers, their understanding of delayed gratification, is being misplaced amidst the fast-food mentality, get-rich quick schemes, and 30-second glimpses of unbounded success and beauty. Of course, all is available at a cost you may not be able to afford but you somehow deserve nonetheless. In these instances time is misunderstood yet again, for though time truly does NOT control our lives, we can only become our truer selves by honoring time’s passage with the requisite steps necessary to do so. This is something farmers and gardeners understand. Time is like an aspect of nature, not unlike sunshine or rain. It can be a tool enabling us to accomplish the work we have been called to do here in this life. Successful individuals understand this concept and are able to transcend time management practices and live lives of choice. I’m not saying to throw away your watches and clocks and calendars and planners. I am simply issuing a challenge to reconsider the way you think about time and how you utilize it.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
I’ve considered the sheer stupidity of my answer since then, due in part because of my wife’s response, which I’ll leave to your imagination (How might you respond to that kind of statement?). The more I think about and read about the concept of time, the more I recognize that my understanding of time is out of whack and that I needed to rethink what time means to me.
I did some internet research on clocks, calendars and time. I wanted to find out the origin of the concept of “time.” Ancient civilizations were interested in the passage of time. From the cycle of the moon to the passing of seasons, people have almost always kept track of the passage of time in some way. Many ancient civilizations invented ingenious methods of tracking the passage of time. Which brings us to the present use of the concept “time.” The question I asked myself was this: What has changed about our perception of time?
The answer, I believe, comes from the “why” of time tracking. Ancient peoples tracked the time to understand things about their world and its relation to the universe. They tracked time to know when to plow the fields, when to plant, when to harvest. Navigators at sea needed accurate timekeeping tools to guide their ships to safety. What do we keep track of time for now? Not to belittle the importance of punctuality, but being on time for your 9:00 a.m. meeting is quite a bit of a shift from keeping the crew of your ship alive, don’t you think?
And so I come back to the concept of wasting time. Something about that phrase bothered me; here’s what I’ve discovered for myself.
Wasting time is not possible. Time is not a commodity that you can gain more of, save up, or lose in some way. I can waste paper by printing more copies of the meeting agenda than I needed. However, time just IS, it just flows on and on, and as such, cannot be wasted. Moreover, what I think of as “wasting time” or “killing time” is simply my way of excusing myself from responsibility for the way I utilized that space of time.
Just as the paper I wasted does not govern my life, time is not that which governs our lives. However, choice is. Time is simply one of the many external realities to which we have the power to choose our responses, like the weather, the family into which we were born, our financial situations, etc.
As our culture moves further into the “information age,” the wisdom of farmers, their understanding of delayed gratification, is being misplaced amidst the fast-food mentality, get-rich quick schemes, and 30-second glimpses of unbounded success and beauty. Of course, all is available at a cost you may not be able to afford but you somehow deserve nonetheless. In these instances time is misunderstood yet again, for though time truly does NOT control our lives, we can only become our truer selves by honoring time’s passage with the requisite steps necessary to do so. This is something farmers and gardeners understand. Time is like an aspect of nature, not unlike sunshine or rain. It can be a tool enabling us to accomplish the work we have been called to do here in this life. Successful individuals understand this concept and are able to transcend time management practices and live lives of choice. I’m not saying to throw away your watches and clocks and calendars and planners. I am simply issuing a challenge to reconsider the way you think about time and how you utilize it.
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
Friday, June 09, 2006
First thoughts
Have you ever wondered why our initial thoughts or impressions about a thing or a person dictate our behavior toward that thing or person?
One example that comes to mind is children. I have four, two boys, two girls. I wonder how much of their behavior towards me is created by the way I see them? If I start the day with the already preconceived notion that my daughter is going to be naughty today, why am I letting that thought dictate everything else? Can I not take a step back and choose a different picture, a more accurate picture, a fuller picture of who my daughter is? Can that not then provide the basis for more balanced parenting, dare I say more loving parenting?
I was gonna start into something about professional athletes, maybe I went there because I had memories of tantrums my own children have thrown and made that leap easily, but I won't go there.
What about just the average Joe or Jane on the street, on the bus, in the store, wherever, that we meet? People who have their own hopes, fears, dreams and nightmares? Yesterday I went to a restaurant for a networking lunch. I had my initial thoughts about the girl who took my order, I had thoughts about the other people there in the room with me, I had thoughts about other people's biz cards. Depending on how my day was going, I could easily have allowed thoughts to dictate my interaction with these people and ultimately my own happiness. I'm glad I chose to think "second thoughts" in these situations.
My first thought about blogging? "What can I add to the vastness of the internet that actually brings value or whatever to people? I'm not a programmer, I'm not sure how 'cool' my blog will be."
Second thought? "Blogging is actually pretty cool, and if the only person I help is myself by creating a place where I can put my thoughts and keep a pseudo journal, why not? What about the possibility that my life experience may just be the thing that helps someone else make a better choice today or feel happy about where they're at or even give them the kick in the butt they need to improving themselves?"
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
One example that comes to mind is children. I have four, two boys, two girls. I wonder how much of their behavior towards me is created by the way I see them? If I start the day with the already preconceived notion that my daughter is going to be naughty today, why am I letting that thought dictate everything else? Can I not take a step back and choose a different picture, a more accurate picture, a fuller picture of who my daughter is? Can that not then provide the basis for more balanced parenting, dare I say more loving parenting?
I was gonna start into something about professional athletes, maybe I went there because I had memories of tantrums my own children have thrown and made that leap easily, but I won't go there.
What about just the average Joe or Jane on the street, on the bus, in the store, wherever, that we meet? People who have their own hopes, fears, dreams and nightmares? Yesterday I went to a restaurant for a networking lunch. I had my initial thoughts about the girl who took my order, I had thoughts about the other people there in the room with me, I had thoughts about other people's biz cards. Depending on how my day was going, I could easily have allowed thoughts to dictate my interaction with these people and ultimately my own happiness. I'm glad I chose to think "second thoughts" in these situations.
My first thought about blogging? "What can I add to the vastness of the internet that actually brings value or whatever to people? I'm not a programmer, I'm not sure how 'cool' my blog will be."
Second thought? "Blogging is actually pretty cool, and if the only person I help is myself by creating a place where I can put my thoughts and keep a pseudo journal, why not? What about the possibility that my life experience may just be the thing that helps someone else make a better choice today or feel happy about where they're at or even give them the kick in the butt they need to improving themselves?"
Life. The Art of Sneezing. Linked as ridiculous concepts from which one can find joy.
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